Okay, this is so awkward. I just had my third session with my new private tutor for Spanish. She's super nice and enthusiastic, but she goes through the material SO fast. She'll explain a concept, ask "Does that make sense?" and my mouth just auto-pilots to "Yes!" because I don't want to seem dumb or waste her time. But in reality, I'm still lost on stuff from session one. The clock is ticking and my conversational final is coming up. How do you guys tell a tutor, nicely, that you need to slow down and go back to basics without sounding like a total failure? I need a script!
How to tell your private tutor you literally understood nothing?
- Thread starter MaryaL
- Start date
Aurora
New member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2026
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- 11
It puts the burden on YOU to assess your own understanding in real time, while feeling pressured to be polite. It's a yes/no question that defaults to "yes" socially. Bad design.
A better tutor asks:
Since your tutor isn't doing that, you have to advocate for yourself. And that's uncomfortable, I know. But here's a script for next time:
"Hey, I realized after last session that I'm still shaky on some of the earlier material. Could we pause on new stuff and spend today reinforcing the basics? I really want to build a solid foundation before the final."
That's mature, self-aware, and focused on RESULTS. Any good tutor will respect that.
A better tutor asks:
- "Can you summarize that back to me?"
- "How would you explain this to a classmate?"
- "Show me an example using this concept."
Since your tutor isn't doing that, you have to advocate for yourself. And that's uncomfortable, I know. But here's a script for next time:
"Hey, I realized after last session that I'm still shaky on some of the earlier material. Could we pause on new stuff and spend today reinforcing the basics? I really want to build a solid foundation before the final."
That's mature, self-aware, and focused on RESULTS. Any good tutor will respect that.