It's 4:17 AM. My essay on pediatric care protocols is due in 8 hours. I have 300 words. Send help. Or coffee. Both. 
In my sleep-deprived wisdom, I've decided to compile a list of things not to do when writing an essay based on my own terrible decisions tonight. Learn from my mistakes, friends:
Do not start your essay at 11 PM. I know it feels brave and adventurous. It is not. It is foolish. The 11 PM brain is not the 9 AM brain. Trust me.
Do not rewrite your introduction seven times. I spent TWO HOURS tweaking the first paragraph. TWO. HOURS. The rest of my essay looks like a toddler wrote it because I ran out of time. Just pick one and move on!
Do not trust autocorrect. It changed "pediatric assessment" to "pediatric assessment" which... isn't a word? And it changed "apnea" to "apnea" which is just... the same thing? Useless. 
Do not fall asleep with your laptop on your chest. I did this for 20 minutes and woke up with keyboard marks on my face and 14 random letters inserted into my conclusion.
Okay, back to writing. Wish me luck, and please share your own late-night disasters so I feel less alone!
In my sleep-deprived wisdom, I've decided to compile a list of things not to do when writing an essay based on my own terrible decisions tonight. Learn from my mistakes, friends:
Do not start your essay at 11 PM. I know it feels brave and adventurous. It is not. It is foolish. The 11 PM brain is not the 9 AM brain. Trust me. Do not rewrite your introduction seven times. I spent TWO HOURS tweaking the first paragraph. TWO. HOURS. The rest of my essay looks like a toddler wrote it because I ran out of time. Just pick one and move on! Do not trust autocorrect. It changed "pediatric assessment" to "pediatric assessment" which... isn't a word? And it changed "apnea" to "apnea" which is just... the same thing? Useless. Do not fall asleep with your laptop on your chest. I did this for 20 minutes and woke up with keyboard marks on my face and 14 random letters inserted into my conclusion.Okay, back to writing. Wish me luck, and please share your own late-night disasters so I feel less alone!
The "rewrite the introduction seven times" hit me right in the soul. Why do we do that?! It's like we think the perfect first sentence will magically write the rest of the paper for us. Spoiler: it never does.